i bet . . .

. . . your student emails aren't nearly as exciting as mine. Here are two of my favorites. The first needs no contextualization--except that it came through Blackboard:
Sorry to send this mail to a class but I am desperate!

We are throwing a bachelorette party for a soon-2-b-bride and we're having trouble finding a male strip club. Does anyone have any suggestions? If they are in [nearby city] that would be better, but [this city] will do. We had some in mind, but they fell through. This is planned for 2morrow (Saturday Jan 27th) so time is short.

Thanks soooo much!
[Student-Who-Feels-No-Qualms-About-Presenting-Self-As-Girl-Wanting-To-Go-Wild]

The second comes from a student to whom I granted an alternative time to take his first test. We corresponded over email then talked in-person in class last night. I have no idea what the fuck he is saying. Though, I must agree with what I think is his gist: I am a pretty good performer.

o it was cool finally meeting prob the most liberal teacher ive ever
had-lol n i've gone to 2 hs's n this is my 3rd college-ur very good at
keeping lecture interesting, however i do have one recc miss record
spinner, i think you would be very good at brodcasting radio or tv-u def
have the personality for it not unlike myself. I aspire to be a
sportscenter anchorman so look for me at 11 in 2 years, although I mioght
wind up teaching if that doesnt work out i guess-lol. I do have one
question for you..why are ch 19 nand 20 posted on BB if its not on the
test?
I look forward to meeting you.

Clearly, I'm a teacher who has no qualms with posting dumbass student emails on my blog.