The end of the session is nearing. Dr. Spanky has been up to his usual "tricks"--asking lucyrain to confront "the issues" and reminding her that medicine alone is insufficient in her quest for "better mental health." As Dr. Spanky speaks, lucyrain nods and smiles in a "You're right. I know. You're absolutely right" kind of way.
Dr. Spanky: So, all these stressors you've told me about--writing a textbook, preparing for a conference, dealing with assholes at work--those aren't really the problem. You realize that, don't you? It's all that other stuff that you try to push out of your mind--your grief, your anger, your resentment. That's what you're going to have to face.
lucyrain: [exhales and utters simultaneaously] Yeah.
Dr. Spanky: You're obviously very intelligent and accomplished and driven. You're more than capable of dealing with textbooks, conferences, and assholes.
lucyrain: [bites her lip and squints her eyes in a slight grimace at the compliments]
Dr. Spanky: [holds his eye contact with lucyrain, as he always does]
lucyrain: [holds her eye contact with Dr. Spanky, for about three seconds]
Dr. Spanky: I can feel it.
lucyrain: Feel what?
Dr. Spanky: You giving me the middle finger.
lucyrain: What?! I'm not giving you the middle finger.
Dr. Spanky: Yes, you are.
lucyrain: No, I'm not.
Dr. Spanky: In your mind you are. I can feel it.
Wednesday, November 1, 2006
Sunday, October 29, 2006
testing . . .
Um, hello?
I can't see my blog and haven't been able to since yesterday afternoon. I can only infer from my Sitemeter stats, that others cannot see it either. Although, also via Sitemeter, I can access specific archived posts. That gives me a little hope . . . .
Whither me blog?
Will now try to publish this post.
ETA: WELL! I guess we just needed to republish the entire blog! Excellent! Now back to work on the frackin' textbook.
I can't see my blog and haven't been able to since yesterday afternoon. I can only infer from my Sitemeter stats, that others cannot see it either. Although, also via Sitemeter, I can access specific archived posts. That gives me a little hope . . . .
Whither me blog?
Will now try to publish this post.
ETA: WELL! I guess we just needed to republish the entire blog! Excellent! Now back to work on the frackin' textbook.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
here's a little tip
Never write a textbook.
Unless, maybe, you're tenured and you REALLY feel the need to write one.
Otherwise, doing so will ruin you.
Okay, maybe not ruin you. Not if you work for an institution that values textbook-writing. And not if you are rewarded for writing one. And not if you really, really want to write one.
Otherwise, it will ruin you. If you find yourself in a position similar to my own, it will ruin you.
Unless, of course, you have an official guarantee from the Provost's Office that you will be granted tenure despite all the time you spent working on a textbook instead of doing other things like grant-grubbing.
Even if your textbook is the "most highly and consistantly praised" your editor has ever seen in his many years with Major Academic Publishing House, committing to and writing a textbook before you are tenured will ruin you.
Even if--or, especially if--you are co-writing said textbook with two of your colleagues.
Newly hired academic dearies, do not write a textbook. Unless you meet the unless-es of all of the above.
Unless, maybe, you're tenured and you REALLY feel the need to write one.
Otherwise, doing so will ruin you.
Okay, maybe not ruin you. Not if you work for an institution that values textbook-writing. And not if you are rewarded for writing one. And not if you really, really want to write one.
Otherwise, it will ruin you. If you find yourself in a position similar to my own, it will ruin you.
Unless, of course, you have an official guarantee from the Provost's Office that you will be granted tenure despite all the time you spent working on a textbook instead of doing other things like grant-grubbing.
Even if your textbook is the "most highly and consistantly praised" your editor has ever seen in his many years with Major Academic Publishing House, committing to and writing a textbook before you are tenured will ruin you.
Even if--or, especially if--you are co-writing said textbook with two of your colleagues.
Newly hired academic dearies, do not write a textbook. Unless you meet the unless-es of all of the above.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
maybe i am or maybe i am
Seen first at Clare's.
Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating. |
Sunday, October 8, 2006
late 20th c. fears that seem to have disappeared from the public consciousness
Some of you may remember a post I wrote a while back about maladies that seemed so prevalent in the 1970s and 1980s but now, perhaps due to technological advancements, seem to have disappeared. I spent a good amount of time during my formative years worrying about falling victim to these afflictions. I've been anxious for a very long time, you see. Incidentally, I also believed I'd be un/lucky enough to encounter one of the monsters or eerie phenomena featured on In Search Of.
Currently, there's a commercial running that features some poor suit sinking in quicksand as his companions seem concerned only with making/investing/worshipping money. The first time I saw this ad, my brain nearly shortcircuited with a mess of memories. Quicksand! I used to be tortured by the thought that I may some day step into some and die a simultaneously slow and quick death. And I wasn't an anomoly. All my friends were tormented knowing that such a death trap existed in the world--despite the fact that we knew both tips for survival. One is "DON'T STRUGGLE." As you may well know, struggling makes you sink faster. The other tip, naturally, is to avoid any place quicksand can be found. We vowed never to find ourselves alone in any environment hospitable to the quicksand . . . though none of us knew which environments those might be. The woods in our backyards? The desert? The tropics? Central Park? I still have no idea where one is likely to find the sand of death.
So that commercial has got me thinking about all of these things, but also about the origin of my awareness. From where did I first learn of quicksand? Could it be from the episodes of Land of the Lost? Or at least one episode of Fantasy Island, as AP suggests? Perhaps from one of those Japanese monster movies I used to watch on Sunday afternoon? If anyone can relate to this post and/or remember how quicksand became a prominent feature of my generation's consciousness, please do throw me a bone. Or, a branch, I should say, keeping with the theme of "Save me from this gritty quagmire of death!"
Currently, there's a commercial running that features some poor suit sinking in quicksand as his companions seem concerned only with making/investing/worshipping money. The first time I saw this ad, my brain nearly shortcircuited with a mess of memories. Quicksand! I used to be tortured by the thought that I may some day step into some and die a simultaneously slow and quick death. And I wasn't an anomoly. All my friends were tormented knowing that such a death trap existed in the world--despite the fact that we knew both tips for survival. One is "DON'T STRUGGLE." As you may well know, struggling makes you sink faster. The other tip, naturally, is to avoid any place quicksand can be found. We vowed never to find ourselves alone in any environment hospitable to the quicksand . . . though none of us knew which environments those might be. The woods in our backyards? The desert? The tropics? Central Park? I still have no idea where one is likely to find the sand of death.
So that commercial has got me thinking about all of these things, but also about the origin of my awareness. From where did I first learn of quicksand? Could it be from the episodes of Land of the Lost? Or at least one episode of Fantasy Island, as AP suggests? Perhaps from one of those Japanese monster movies I used to watch on Sunday afternoon? If anyone can relate to this post and/or remember how quicksand became a prominent feature of my generation's consciousness, please do throw me a bone. Or, a branch, I should say, keeping with the theme of "Save me from this gritty quagmire of death!"
Saturday, October 7, 2006
the sunny outlook of our sparkly new chair
From Friday's Faculty Meeting
Chair: The Dean's Office is considering making a call for minority recruitment hires, so we should spend some time thinking about folks we'd like to consider.
Faculty Member Who's in the Know: Actually, the Provost's Office said they're not likely to approve any funding for that this year.
Chair: Well, right. Like I said, the Dean's Office is considering it.
FMWitK: But the Provost's Office won't likely approve it.
Chair: You and I are saying the same thing.
FMWitK: I . . . . You're . . . . We're . . . . Uh, yes. We're saying the same thing.
[FMWitK is our only faculty person of color. She is accutely aware of the rhetorical stylings of the Dean's and Provost's Offices. We will not be afforded recruitment hires this year, despite our white male chair's optimism. Bless his heart.]
*****************
Chair: As you know, our main budget request for this year was the increase in GTA stipends. Aaannd, the Budget is now in. Aaaannnd, we didn't get the increase.
Faculty and One Graduate Student Representative: YOUHAVETOBEKIDDINGMENOFUCKINGWAYUNBELIEVEABLETHISISSUCHBULLSHIT
WHODOWEHAVETOFUCK?
Chair: I KNOW. I KNOW. And remember what our external reviewers wrote about our GTA stipend two years ago? How it is "pathetic" and "pitiful"? That report is the joke of the Dean's Office.
F&OGSR: YOUHAVETOBEKIDDINGMENOFUCKINGWAYUNBELIEVEABLETHISISSUCHBULLSHIT
WHOCANIFUCKUP?
Chair: I know. I know. We'll just have to try again next year.
[Our GTAs make less than $10,000 a year. They're not the lowest paid GTAs in our R1 university. But no matter! Our department has 900 majors and 16 faculty members. Our GTAs teach the vast majority of our curricula. We've been asking for a higher stipend for almost 10 years. Our new Chair seems to think that this simply can't go on for much longer. Bless his heart.]
Chair: The Dean's Office is considering making a call for minority recruitment hires, so we should spend some time thinking about folks we'd like to consider.
Faculty Member Who's in the Know: Actually, the Provost's Office said they're not likely to approve any funding for that this year.
Chair: Well, right. Like I said, the Dean's Office is considering it.
FMWitK: But the Provost's Office won't likely approve it.
Chair: You and I are saying the same thing.
FMWitK: I . . . . You're . . . . We're . . . . Uh, yes. We're saying the same thing.
[FMWitK is our only faculty person of color. She is accutely aware of the rhetorical stylings of the Dean's and Provost's Offices. We will not be afforded recruitment hires this year, despite our white male chair's optimism. Bless his heart.]
*****************
Chair: As you know, our main budget request for this year was the increase in GTA stipends. Aaannd, the Budget is now in. Aaaannnd, we didn't get the increase.
Faculty and One Graduate Student Representative: YOUHAVETOBEKIDDINGMENOFUCKINGWAYUNBELIEVEABLETHISISSUCHBULLSHIT
WHODOWEHAVETOFUCK?
Chair: I KNOW. I KNOW. And remember what our external reviewers wrote about our GTA stipend two years ago? How it is "pathetic" and "pitiful"? That report is the joke of the Dean's Office.
F&OGSR: YOUHAVETOBEKIDDINGMENOFUCKINGWAYUNBELIEVEABLETHISISSUCHBULLSHIT
WHOCANIFUCKUP?
Chair: I know. I know. We'll just have to try again next year.
[Our GTAs make less than $10,000 a year. They're not the lowest paid GTAs in our R1 university. But no matter! Our department has 900 majors and 16 faculty members. Our GTAs teach the vast majority of our curricula. We've been asking for a higher stipend for almost 10 years. Our new Chair seems to think that this simply can't go on for much longer. Bless his heart.]
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)