Y'all remember my Topher-Grace-twin psychiatrist, Dr. Spanky, yes? And perhaps you remember that my therapist, Serenity (see bullet #4), began having "issues" with him a few months back? Well, the issues remain, as was made crystal clear to me during a meeting with (no-longer-exactly-the-best-name-perhaps) Serenity a couple of weeks ago. It went something like this:
[After 30 minutes into a rather and rare uneventful session, lucyrain is providing the details of her mother's upcoming visit. She's calm, feeling pretty good. Anticipates ending the session early, even.]
lucyrain: So, the airline ticket ended up being cheaper than I thought, which is good, cuz my mother would've been all, "I can't let you pay for my visit," even though she literally can't pay for her visit, not that she would admit that or anythi--
Serenity: lucyrain. Let me ask you something.
lucyrain: [A little startled by the interruption, but a little relieved as well. She had begun to bore even herself.] Okay.
[Serenity leans forward, elbows on knees, direct and unflinching eye contact with lucyrain. lucyrain's relief begins to turn into that "uh-oh" feeling. After a couple seconds, lucyrain tries to be little funny, if awkwardly so.]
lucyrain: I let you ask me something.
Serenity: [not having any of lucyrain's attempt at levity] What do you think about your sessions with Dr. Spanky?
lucyrain: Uh. I think they're good. I guess.
Serenity: You guess they're good?
lucyrain: Yeah. I guess.
Serenity: [Looks down, nods head.]
lucyrain: Why?
Serenity: Well, I've been going over his notes from your sessions with him and, to me, it really looks like he's doing therapy with you.
lucyrain: [pause] Huh. Really?
Serenity: Yes. And I'm really concerned about that. For you.
lucyrain: Oh. Wow. Really? Huh. . . . So, we shouldn't be doing what we do during our meetings?
Serenity: Well, he's your doctor, your physician. He prescribes you medication. I'm your therapist. It's not his job to talk to you about the stuff we talk about in here. His job is to talk to you about your medications.
lucyrain: Oh, right. Sure! I mean, we do talk about my meds--
Serenity: Along with all kinds of other stuff.
lucyrain: Well, yeah, I guess. I mean, he asks how I'm doing and I tell him. I'm not sure how to separate out the stuff that's going on in my life from how I'm doing on my meds . . . .
Serenity: But it seems to me that you're spending a lot of time on all of the non-medication stuff. I mean, he takes very. detailed. and analytical. notes.
lucyrain: Huh. Well, we are changing my meds right now, so--
Serenity: I know. I can see that. And I guess that's another thing I don't understand.
lucyrain: Changing the meds? Well . . . we decided to try something different because I don't seem to be benefiting the way I could or should, I guess, from the current meds, so--
Serenity: What I'm trying to say is that I don't understand why he's changing your meds now when his clinical rounds are ending.
[Quick reminder to the reader: lucyrain has been assigned a new psych every year because she obtains her services from a med school.]
lucyrain: Oh, well, because he said he's keeping me on. I guess the residents can choose to do that with a couple of their patients.
Serenity: Exactly. I have a lot of clients who are patients of Dr. Spanky and you're the only one he's keeping that I know of.
[By now, lucyrain is feeling extremely uncomfortable. Serenity, clearly able to discern this, changes her disposition. She no longer comes across as an imagined police interrogator--or better, every Catholic church figure who played a part in the moral education of lucyrain. She merely offers a suggestion to end the session.]
Serenity: Before your next appointment with Dr. Spanky, think about whether you want to continue on with me or do your therapy with him. I can't do meds with you, but obviously, he can do therapy with you, so I think you should consider working with just him.
*********
I met with Dr. Spanky a couple of days ago. Because Serenity told me I should talk with Dr. Spanky about what he and I should be doing during our sessions, I did. (Don't get me started on the fact that neither of these people have ever spoken a word to each other--I've asked--despite the fact that their offices are next door to each other.) He responded the way I knew he would. And then some.
Dr. Spanky: I don't believe in focusing solely on "meds management." In order to do the best job I can, I need to know what's going on in your life. Life factors impact reactions to medications as much as meds affect life factors.
lucyrain: I agree. And I don't think that your "doing therapy" with me is somehow a bad thing, it's just that Serenity thought it might be confusing for me to--
Dr. Spanky: Do you feel confused?
lucyrain: No. I think I benefit from both of you. I don't find your talk contradictory to hers, or overwhelming, or, whatever. I'm fine with the way things are.
Dr. Spanky: Good. Because I'm not going to be your pill monkey.
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